In Your Name I Return
by Blodigealach
Summary: The first time Sanada found him was in the middle of summer, and he kept on returning without realizing the real meaning of his own action. AU. SanaYuki/YukiSana.


Series: Prince of Tennis  
Disclaimer: Konomi Takeshi

Warning: OOC, weird story, weird language, character's death, and whatnot

Note: I'm making this as the runaway from the essay I have to write... 6000++ words of crappy story instead of a single page of essay that is due in 12 hours. I think I'm keeping my priorities straight.

* * *

Sanada Genichiro stared quietly to the moving scenery outside the train's window. The sky was already dark, as dark as his black hair that framed his face. He exhaled quietly as he fidgeted on his seat, already sore from hours of travel. Deep down he questioned himself if he was doing the right thing. But as soon as he saw the dark blue sky, his worries were wiped out instantly.

He would never regret or doubt anything if it's for _him_.

It was still clear in his mind, the way _his_ midnight blue hair fell gracefully to _his_ nape and those pair of sapphire that stared at him very gently. He even still could remember _him_ calling out his name with the soft yet strong voice. He could never really forget every little bit about _him_, every single thing _he_ said, every single movement _he_ made.

After all, Yukimura Seiichi was his first and only love.

His mind wandered off to the moment they met for the first time. He was still a little kid, 8 years old of age. He went to the countryside for a summer vacation in his grandfather's house. At that time, he wasn't really excited about that. He thought that it would be just another boring summer as always. But apparently, he was wrong.

At one evening, he went to the nearby forest just for a walk. He was bored and he felt like to take a stroll a little further than the usual. But as a kid, he couldn't remember from where he came, and he got lost instantly. He walked and walked until his feet felt sore, but he couldn't find his way home. It was dark already, and he was in the middle of nowhere. That was enough to make him cry.

Then suddenly he saw light not far from where he stood. Not wanting to stay in the dark place any longer, he followed that light, which magically led him out from the forest. He was very confused when he found out that he was already in the familiar road, and he was even more confused when he saw his family near where he stood, searching for him. Without even thinking twice, he ran to his parents, forgetting about the strange light from earlier.

His father scolded him a little, while his mother checked him if he was hurt anywhere. But when finally his father asked how he could find a way out, he remembered about that light again. He told his family about that light and asked if there's anyone who brought flashlight with them. Both of his parents said that they didn't bring any, and there was no one else beside them, and they also didn't see any light. They then decided that it might be just his imagination. He wanted to state that the light felt so real, but then he decided to stay silent.

He followed his parents to go back to his grandfather's house. But just before they left the forest's road, he looked into the forest once again. And there it was, the light that guided him out from the forest. But this time, he could see that the light was forming a figure of a human. It was hard to decide whether it's a man or a woman, but there were some features that were very clear to him. That 'person' has wavy dark blue hair that fell to his nape, and his eyes were glittering like a pair of sapphire. His skin was very pale, very close to the pure white kimono he wore.

And without him realizing it, that person's eyes were already fixed on him. Dark brown met blue, and he could felt that his heart skipped a beat. It wasn't because he was scared, but more because he was _smitten_ by those lonely yet gentle eyes. He had never saw anything as beautiful as that person. But his thought was broken when his mother called him, and when he turned his sight back to where that person was; there was already nothing there.

His mind jumped to their second meeting 2 years after. He went to his grandfather's house again, and that time he was excited to do so. He waited until the sun had set and went to the forest again. This time he brought a long rope with him, so he wouldn't lose his way again. But apparently he didn't need it that time. That glowing person was seen as soon as he entered the forest. That person looked even more real that time. He could clearly see the features he failed to see the last time. This time he was sure that the person is a male.

He stared at that glowing man, enjoying every single feature that man had to offer. His face was very smooth of a woman, but there was something in the silhouette that showed a hint of masculinity. His lashes were long, and his lips were fairly small. Sanada was still enjoying himself when suddenly that man raised his right hand and pointed behind Sanada. The little kid turned around to see what that man pointed, and he saw the road from where he came.

"I'm not lost this time. I come to see you," said Sanada as he turned back to that man. That man looked surprised when he heard that, but then his expression melted into a smile. It was a gentle yet sad smile. He shook his head slowly, making his hair waved slowly. He pointed again to the road, and this time Sanada could faintly hear his parents calling for him. He felt slightly discouraged when he knew that it's time for him to go back. He felt that he hadn't had enough of that man.

"Let's meet again next time," said Sanada straightforwardly. That man smiled again, and Sanada smiled back at him. He then went back to his grandfather's house with his parents, only after he took a last peek to the forest, seeing how that man was still in his place this time, smiling gently at him.

Their third meeting was in the following summer. He made his parents confused when he stated his wish to have a summer vacation in at his grandfather's place. The place he hated before had become the place he wanted to visit the most.

He went into the forest right after the sun had set, and he found that man at the same place where he saw him the last time. That time the man greeted him with a sincere smile, the most dazzling Sanada had ever seen in his life. The boy could only stared back with his jaw hanging, making the glowing man chuckled seeing his face. Sanada quickly realized that he had just spaced out, and his face grew hot and red in no time.

"I'm sorry, I was… I had never saw a smile as beautiful as yours before," said Sanada as he smiled sheepishly at the man. The man nodded in understanding, and that somehow made Sanada felt relieved.

"My name is Sanada Genichiro. I haven't had the chance to say my gratitude to you for helping me 4 years ago," said Sanada again, and once again the man nodded in understanding. Sanada frowned when he saw the man's reaction. He hadn't spoken a word since the first time they met, and it made him curious.

"Can't you speak?" asked Sanada straightforwardly. That man smiled sadly, and he opened his mouth. He was mouthing something, but Sanada couldn't hear anything. Still, he could read his lips.

"_Even though I can speak, you're unable to hear it."_

Sanada nodded slowly, felt discouraged by that truth. Seeing how sad Sanada seemed, the blue haired man squatted to put himself in the same eye level with the boy. He then mimicked Sanada's discouraged face, but slightly exaggerated. Sanada saw that and he chuckled on how weird that man's face was, and that man smiled cheerfully after he heard Sanada's chuckle.

"I have to go back now, or my parents will be searching for me again, just like last year. I'm sorry for not being able to stay longer," said Sanada. The man shook his head and smiled gently. Still, as usual, Sanada could see that there's a hint of sadness in those pair of sapphire. He felt like to ask about it, but he restrained himself from doing so. It's not his place to ask, he thought.

"Anyway, may I know your name?" asked Sanada again. The man looked hesitated, but Sanada told him silently that he wouldn't leave until the man answered. The man bit his lower lip before he finally answered.

"_Yukimura Seiichi."_

Sanada blinked. He felt like he _heard_ something. It was like a whisper, but fainter. He stared at the man in front of him, and then asked again, "Can you repeat it?"

"_Yukimura Seiichi. My name is Yukimura Seiichi."_

That time, Sanada was sure that the whisper was that man's voice. It was very faint, but he was very sure about it. He grinned at Yukimura, felt like he had accomplished something very big.

"See you again next time, Yukimura!" said Sanada as he waved his hand, and then ran back to his grandfather's house.

He didn't even wait for summer to meet Yukimura for the fourth time. It was the first time he spend winter holiday in his grandfather's house, making both of his parents and his grandfather confused with his behavior. And as usual, he went to the forest once the sun had set. Yukimura was also waited for him in the same place in the forest.

"I can't wait another year to meet you," he explained as soon as he came. Yukimura seemed obviously worried about Sanada, but the boy assured him that he wore enough clothes to keep him warm.

"Still, it's cold in the winter. I don't mind to wait until the next summer. After all, I've been here for a very long time, to the point that one year feels like nothing," said Yukimura, still with the same worrying expression. This time, Sanada could hear his voice clearer. His voice was soft, too high of a man but too low of a woman.

"Why are you here, anyway?" asked Sanada straightforwardly. His question seemed to hit Yukimura hard, as the man looked very sad instantly. Sanada felt guilty for asking such question, and he was about to apologize when suddenly Yukimura spoke.

"There's someone I'm waiting for. He promised me that he'll come back to me," replied Yukimura. His lips curled a thin smile, very gentle yet very sad. The little boy had never seen a being so beautiful like him. It was as if his sadness amplified his beauty. Still, somewhere in his heart felt terribly hurt when he saw how miserable Yukimura was.

Sanada found himself at loss of words. He couldn't find anything to say to comfort the other man. But Yukimura could sense Sanada's feeling and quickly smiled sincerely again at that boy. "It's okay, it's not your fault to be curious. I'm sorry if I make you feel uncomfortable," said Yukimura. Sanada shook his head fast, not wanting to make Yukimura felt guilty.

"No, I'm sorry for asking rude question," replied Sanada. Yukimura nodded in understanding.

"Now, isn't it time for you to go home? Your parents will be worried if you don't come home quickly. And it's very cold outside," said Yukimura. Sanada exhaled, felt really discouraged about that. He bid a farewell to the blue-haired man and went back to his grandfather's house.

But of course he didn't even wait for the next summer. At spring, he came again to the forest. He still hadn't change his brand new middle school uniform when he entered the forest as soon as the sun had set. The figure of the blue-haired man appeared even more real to him. It was as if he took a step closer to the other world.

"I'm staying in my grandfather's house starting this spring. Please take care of me for at least next 3 years," said Sanada as soon as he met Yukimura. The other man looked surprised. But as usual, his lips curled a thin smile filled with gentleness and sadness.

"I'll be more than happy to have you here," replied Yukimura.

Since then, they regularly met every evening, when Sanada had no homework or tennis practice or kendo practice. Sanada lost count on how often they met, but he still remembered how Yukimura looked even more _human_ in every meeting. His features seemed clearer from day by day. He swore he could even count his strands of hair if he wanted to. The pattern on his pure white kimono—which was embroidered with the same white thread—could be seen very clearly, while he had no idea that there was any pattern in his kimono before. His voice also become clearer, far from just a whisper or echo.

They talked about everything they could talk about. Sanada told him stories about his school, about how he joined tennis club and kendo club at the same time, and how he became captain in both clubs. Sometimes Sanada asked about his History homework, while Yukimura explained everything he knew about it. Yukimura also sometimes told Sanada about the priests in where he lived. When Yukimura told him about a boy named 'Akaya' and his behavior, Sanada blurted out that there was also someone named 'Akaya' with the same personality in his tennis club. Yukimura half-jokingly told Sanada that 'Akaya' in his tennis club might be the reincarnation of 'Akaya' in his time.

"It's somehow amazing that there's really someone with the same name and personality in the past. It makes me wonder if there's someone at your time that looked like me," said Sanada as his brown eyes glittering in excitement. But as usual, suddenly Yukimura looked gloomy. And as usual, Sanada didn't know where he said it wrong.

"Did I say something wrong again, Seiichi?" asked Sanada. They had started to call each other with their first names since Sanada's second year of middle school, and it was already almost 1 year since then. Yukimura shook his head slowly, and Sanada was still mesmerized with the way Yukimura's hair waved when he moved.

"It's just…" Yukimura never finished his sentence. Tears started to flow from his sapphire eyes, rolling on his silky skin, before dripping to his white kimono. Sanada felt like his heart was squeezed when he saw the sight in front of him.

He was so painfully beautiful.

The black-haired teen clenched his fists, feeling useless for not being able to take the other man in his arms, telling him that it's okay to cry on his shoulder as long as he wanted to. He wanted to be able to reach out his hand to wipe those tears; to tangle his fingers on those strands of midnight blue silk; to let the other man rested his head on his chest. He wanted to, with all his heart and soul, but he's unable to.

It didn't take long for Yukimura to stop crying and wearing his usual thin smile. Still, the pain in Sanada's heart after seeing Yukimura's tears couldn't be wiped out easily. It was as if there were tiny shards of glass filling his heart, stabbing it in every pump.

"Seiichi…" The teenager stared straightforwardly to the pair of sapphire; his brown eyes showed no doubts. He didn't know what hit him to do what he was about to do next, but at the time he was so sure that he wouldn't regret it for the rest of his life. He inhaled deeply as the other man waited patiently for anything he was about to say.

"Be mine, Seiichi."

There was obvious shock in those pair of sapphire. But aside of that, there were also something else. There were disbelief and sadness… as well as anger. Yukimura looked lost, and he was in loss of words. Sanada opened his mouth to talk again, but Yukimura shook his head continuously, not wanting to hear anything further from the teenager.

"I'm serious about my feelings. I love you, since the first time our eyes met," continued Sanada, ignoring Yukimura's silent plead for him to stop talking.

"No, Genichiro. You can't—"

"—But I don't want anyone else—"

"—We lived in different time and reality—"

"—You are real to me—"

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!"

It was the first time Sanada ever heard Yukimura scolded like that. He seemed about to break into tears again, but he fought it with all of his strength.

"I can't betray my promise," whispered Yukimura, and Sanada understood almost instantly. It was because of _him_, the man who promised Yukimura that he'd come back to him. That pissed Sanada off more than he could imagine. It was the very first time in his life to hate someone he didn't even know at all. Because of _him_, Yukimura's soul was trapped in that forest for the rest of the time. Because of _him_, Yukimura was always having the gloomy aura clouding his clear blue eyes.

And Sanada couldn't understand how Yukimura still chose to stay true to _him_.

Those thoughts angered Sanada more than he thought. He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, unable to hide his anger. He then exhaled and turned around, his back facing Yukimura.

"…Do as you like…" mumbled Sanada.

"Gen—"

"How can you still choose him over me. He left you alone here, while I'm here for you," added Sanada, his voice was trembling. He didn't understand why he was so angry, but he couldn't hold that feeling at all. He felt betrayed.

"It's okay. If that what you want, I'll go. I won't come again," added Sanada again, and it surprised Yukimura more. The blue-haired man was about to say something when suddenly Sanada turned around to him again. His dark brown eyes were filled in anger and disappointment.

"I don't want to see your face anymore." With those words, Sanada left the forest without even stopping to turn around.

Since then, the teenager buried himself in his studies and club activities. He was more determined than ever, to the point that he gained himself a title of 'Emperor' from his friends for being the best of the best in most aspects in his school. He tried his best to make himself forget about those pair of sapphire that stared at him in both affection and sadness the last time they looked into each other's eyes.

Soon after he graduated from middle school, he moved back to the city for high school and university, and he also stayed there after he graduated, working in one of the well-known company. He had almost completely forgotten about Yukimura when one day he bumped with his junior in middle school.

"Sanada, what a coincidence!" A young man with wavy black hair and bright green eyes greeted him with a wide smile on his face. Sanada blinked at the young man and forced his brain to remember who that person was. After a few seconds, he finally remembered a name.

"Kirihara… Akaya?" asked Sanada hesitantly, and the younger man grinned widely at that.

"Ah, so you still remember! I was afraid that you'd say 'who the hell are you'. I'd be totally embarrassed!" said Akaya as he chuckled at his own words. Sanada was at loss of words. It was already 10 years passed from the last time he met Akaya, who cried his head out in his farewell party after graduation. The boy had already grown into a fine man, although it was still clearly seen that Akaya's personality hadn't really changed much from 10 years ago.

"Do you work around here?" asked Sanada, unable to think about any other question. The younger boy blushed slightly and scratched the back of his ear.

"No, not really… I'm… I'm staying a little at my friend's house, helping him with… with _something_," replied Akaya hesitantly. Sanada could understand pretty much what was Akaya intended to say, and he decided not to ask anything further about it.

"Anyway, do you already have a partner or something, Sanada?" asked Akaya abruptly, making Sanada scowled at the question. It wasn't a question you usually asked someone you hadn't met for a very long time. Still, he didn't mind to answer that question.

"I'm not seeing anyone, if that what you mean," answered Sanada calmly. If he thought about it a little, it wasn't like he wasn't popular or anything. He had a few female asked him out since he was in high school. But because of one thing or another, he rejected all of them. He tried to remember what made him did so in the beginning, but he couldn't really remember it. He only had a faint feeling that he promised _something_ to _someone_.

"You still haven't changed much since middle school, eh? It's still fresh in my memories the day when you rejected our school's idol. I know it's rude of me, but sometimes I still laugh if I remember when you said 'I already have a lover who is 100 times more beautiful than you' with a straight face," said Akaya. Sanada blinked again. It's hard for him to remember things of the past, especially the ones he didn't think as important thing.

"I said something like that? I can't remember," replied Sanada flatly. Akaya chuckled again at Sanada's statement, as if it's something funny.

"Yes, you said that, loud and clear! But of course, no one believed you. After all, we've never seen the person you mentioned. Your description also doesn't match with anyone in the school or around it. It's as if… well, you're either delusional or fallen in love with supernatural being," blabbed Akaya nonchalantly. Sanada scowled when he heard Akaya's explanation. It was as if there's something he had to remember, something _very_ important.

"Akaya, do you still remember what I said about that person?" asked Sanada. It was rather embarrassing for him, not remembering his own past. But as people said, childhood is like getting drunk; everyone remembers but you. Akaya raised an eyebrow at Sanada's strange request, but he's going to answer it anyway.

"Well, let's see… You said something like he has wavy midnight blue hair, blue eyes, pale skin, sad eyes, and the most dazzling smile you've ever seen in your life. You also said that he wears pure white kimono, and you two met when you're 8 years old or something. Oh, you also mentioned his name! His name is… Yuki… something…"

Suddenly, Sanada felt like a gigantic thunder struck him right there, right then. The memories and the feelings he had locked away seemed to pour mercilessly, filling both his mind and heart with the image of a man more beautiful than anything, more sorrowful than anything. It was as if he had just seen that man the other day. He could remember clearly at his wavy midnight hair that fell gracefully to his pale white nape, framing the face more beautiful than a woman yet still had a hint of masculinity. But on top of it, it was his eyes that he remembered the most.

He remembered those pair of blue eyes, glittering like a pair of sapphire, tinted in sorrow and affection.

"Seiichi…" Sanada whispered unconsciously. It was as if the spell had been broken; the spell that locked away all of his memories with the one he knew as the love of his life. Everything made sense to him eventually. Yukimura Seiichi is his reason why he kept on rejecting every single woman that approached him. Yukimura Seiichi is the one he always longed to see, the one that left a huge hole in his heart.

Yukimura Seiichi is the reason why he decided to forget his past.

"Hey, are you okay? You look pale," asked Akaya, waking Sanada up from his own thoughts. Sanada startled and fidgeted, feeling totally awkward after suddenly remembering every single thing he tried to forget. Something felt like squeezing his chest tightly, making him unable to breath.

"I—I'm okay. Please excuse me; I just remembered that I have something important to do. It's nice to meet you, Akaya," replied Sanada, before he left in hurry, almost running.

He walked as fast as he can to the train station. But he wasn't going to go to his apartment. He's going to go to their sacred place, the forest where they always met. He didn't know what drove him to do so, but he didn't really think about it. The only thing he knew was that his whole body screamed to reunite with the blue-haired man.

And there he was, riding his train on his way to his grandfather's house. He checked his watch again, only to find out that it was almost midnight already. He huffed and shifted his position again, feeling uneasy. He was tired after a whole day working; and yet he still pushed himself to go somewhere far away. He closed his eyes slowly, trying to get some sleep while he could.

But not long after he closed his eyes, he heard a very loud crash, and he was easily thrown away from his seat like a ragged cloth. His body clashed with something hard, and he could feel the stinging pain in his whole body. His mouth was opened, wanting to scream but there was no sound came out. The taste of iron filled his mouth. He felt very dizzy, and soon everything went black.

"—This is the last stop; every passenger please check your belongings—"

Sanada snapped his eyes open, finding himself still sitting on his seat. He looked around him, trying to find any sign of accident or anything, but he found none. He also checked himself, and he found no wounds. He exhaled deeply. He thought he might be only imagining that the train he rode was caught up in an accident. Still, it felt so real.

He shook his head slowly, trying to wipe out any negative feeling he might had. He rose from his seat and walked out from the train. He followed the familiar road until he finally arrived at the forest. He went in, but he found no trace of the other man in that place.

"Seiichi!" he called. He waited for any sign or answer, but there was none. He felt very upset by the thought that Yukimura might already cross over. He hadn't even had the chance to say how grateful he was for their meeting, or to apologize to him for what he said and did in their last meeting. He refused to believe that Yukimura was gone already.

"Seiichi, I know you're still here! Please, show yourself to me! Let me apologize to you for what I did! Let me tell you how grateful I am for our meeting!" Sanada yelled again, trying to call out the one he wanted to meet the most. But just like before, there was no answer. He bit his lower lip, unable to hold the negative thoughts he had.

"Please, Seiichi… For the last time, let me love you… Let me see your face, for one last time," whispered Sanada, his voice trembling as he tried as hard as he could to hold back his tears. It was painful. It was very hard even just to breath.

But suddenly, Sanada felt a presence behind him. And when he turned around to see, he finally got what he wanted. Yukimura was standing just a few steps from he stood, more real than ever, more stunning than ever. And he still hadn't changed a bit since the last time they met 10 years ago.

"I thought you don't want to see my face anymore," he spoke softly and slowly, as a pair of sapphire gazed at him with the same affectionate yet sorrowful sight. Sanada could never describe how relieved he was when he saw Yukimura. Guilt and happiness swirled in his chest, making him lost his own words.

"You know that I can never really leave you completely," he eventually replied. Sanada wanted to talk about something, anything, but he couldn't find what he actually wanted to say. He didn't know where to start. He wanted to apologize. He wanted to tell him how he had been lonely. He wanted to tell him everything, but his tongue seemed to be tied up.

"You've grown so much, Genichiro," commented Yukimura as he stepped closer to the other man. Ten years had passed, and it's only natural for Sanada to change. He had grown into a very tall man, and he had a stern look on his face thanks to many years of hard working. He looked slightly older than his actual age. His strong jawline and cheekbones added up his handsomeness, as well as his piercing brown eyes and thick eyebrows. His skin was more tanned than the last time Yukimura saw him, but still in the considerably medium-light tones.

"You haven't changed at all, Seiichi," replied Sanada. The other man was still standing in the borderline between male and female, far too gentle for a man yet far too strong for a woman. The way his midnight blue hair fell to his pale nape was still the same, as well as the gentle yet melancholic gaze of his sapphire eyes.

Both of them fell in silence as they gazed into each other's eyes, unable to convey the feelings they had inside. Eventually, Sanada thought that he should at least apologize for what he had done 10 years ago. He inhaled deeply, clenching his fists, trying to put up the words he wanted to say. He still didn't know where to start, but he thought that he had to say something.

"I… I want to apologize for what I've said to you 10 years ago," he began hesitantly. He inhaled again before he continued, "I was mad because you choose a man that left you alone here instead of me. I love you so much to the point that I hate myself for being unable to be the one you can rely on."

Yukimura stood still, unwavering, listening to every word Sanada said. He waited until Sanada continued what he wanted to say. "After I left you that day, I felt like there's a huge hole in my heart. I tried to fill it out with clubs activities, study, and work, but I can't seem to fill it at all. I buried all of my memories about you, because I'm afraid to be hurt. No, maybe I'm just afraid to see myself as the man I hate… the man who left you alone."

Sanada inhaled again. He felt lighter after saying those things, as if the weight on his shoulders was finally lifted. He saw how Yukimura was still waiting for him to finish whatever he wanted to say, so he continued, "But just a few hours ago, everything about you resurfaced. I realized that all of this time I was just running away from you. I'm not different from _that man_. Or rather, I'm worst than him."

He clenched his fists harder, strong enough to bruise them. Anger and frustration were obvious in his brown eyes. It wasn't directed to the other man, but at himself. Slowly, the blue-haired man moved closer to the other man. He stopped when he was within Sanada's reach, only to look him straight into the eyes.

"You really are no different from him, Genichiro," said Yukimura softly, his voice filled with affection, longing, and melancholy. Sanada widened his eyes in surprise and confusion. Something, somewhere inside him felt like there was something very important he had to remember. He promised something. He promised something very important to someone. He looked into the pair of sapphire, searching for an answer.

"You still don't remember, do you?" asked Yukimura softly. Suddenly the scenery around them swirled and turned. Sanada could only petrified seeing how the scenery changed. The trees around them changed into _shoji_ walls, while the grasses and dirt under his feet turned into wooden floor. Lights from candles filled the room with the warm color, yet the air felt somehow cold. Footsteps and noises were heard around them, although they seemed to be isolated from the commotion outside.

Suddenly, 2 teenagers came in from another room, bringing something that seemed to be a portable curtain. They placed it in the middle of the room, and then laid out a pair of cushions, one in each side for the curtain, before leaving the room again. Not long after that, the sliding door from where the teenagers went in and out was opened, and a man in pure white kimono stepped into the room.

The black-haired man was horrified with what he saw. The man who had just stepped into the room was Yukimura Seiichi. He looked to the other Yukimura, who was still standing in front of him; eyes fixed on his other self. Sanada turned his sight to the Yukimura who had just sat on one of the cushions, observing him a little longer. He then found out how this Yukimura seemed a little younger and livelier. He also didn't show a hint if he's aware of Sanada's and the other Yukimura's presence.

The sliding door from the other end of the room was opened shortly after, and Sanada was even more horrified with what he saw. The man who just got in had the exactly same appearance with him, except for the heavy armory he wore. The man sat at the other side of the curtain, waiting in silence until the other man spoke. But none of them spoke for a few minutes, until the armored man decided to talk first.

"I'm going to win this war," he said shortly. Sanada felt as if he heard himself speaking. Apparently the armored man didn't only have his outer appearance, but voice as well. Yukimura who sat in front of the curtain opened his mouth to talk, but then he closed it again. He bit his lower lip as he linked his own fingers. He had a great urge to prevent the armored man to go, but he realized that it's not his place to do so.

"I'll be praying for your safety," replied the blue haired man. It was clear in his voice and expression that he didn't want the other man to go. The armored man, despite being unable to see his expression due to the curtain's presence, understood well how the other man didn't want him to leave.

"The next time we meet, I want to see you face to face, eye to eye, skin to skin. I want to be able to know you completely," said the armored man again. There's no a single hint of hesitation in his voice. He was so sure of what he wanted.

"Then promise me to come back, so I can also know you even deeper," replied the other man with a gentle smile on his face.

"I vow to you, that no matter what is going to happen in the future, I'll go back to you. Even if this body will rot, I will make sure that I'm coming back to you. No matter how many years will pass, or how many times I will be reborn, I'm going to come back to you," replied the armored man.

"I also vow to you, that no matter what is going to happen in the future, I will always be waiting for you. Even if this body will rot, I will make sure that I'm here to welcome you back. No matter how many years will pass, or how many times I will be reborn, I'm going to stay the same," replied the Highest Priest.

Both of them stretched out their hands, putting them together on the curtain. They could feel each other's warmth, longing, and affection.

"The next time we meet, I want to meet you just as myself, not the 'Highest Priest'," whispered the blue-haired man.

"The next time we meet, I want to meet you just as myself, not the 'Emperor'," whispered the armored man. They both curled a smile, gentle and melancholic, before eventually pulled back their hands. The armored man then stood up and left, followed by the other man not long after.

And then, their surroundings went black. Sanada felt like he couldn't breath after watching what Yukimura just shown him. His head wanted to deny what he had just saw, but his heart knew that everything was true. It was him who broke his promise to Yukimura. It was him who left Yukimura alone.

He was the one who trapped Yukimura in that place all along.

"Soon after you went to the battlefield, the castle was attacked by the enemy. They killed all the man who tried to defend the castle, and taking the women and young men that fits their liking to be their slaves. They almost took me away too, but I chose to end my life rather than being stained by them. They burned down the castle, but my soul is still trapped here, unable to move on because I vowed to you that I'll be waiting for you here," told Yukimura.

"Years passed by, but I still can't leave this place. I lost count on how long I've been here, waiting for you to come back. I almost lose my hope when finally I found you here, much younger than I ever remembered. I was so happy that I could finally see you again, but you didn't remember anything about me. You didn't even remember anything about yourself." The pair of sapphires stared deeply into his very soul. He didn't accuse him for anything; simply saying what he wanted to say.

"I—"

"Tell me; how many times do I have to repeat this sin just to make you remember everything?" Yukimura showed him the most devastated expression he ever saw. Sanada was confused with what the blue-haired man said. He didn't understand what kind of 'sin' Yukimura talked about.

"Seiichi…" Sanada tried to reach out for him, but then he saw how his hand slowly disappeared into tiny speck of light. That was when he finally realized everything, that he was already died from the train wreck and that his soul was in the process of crossing over to the other side.

"I hope that the next time we meet, I don't have to commit this sin yet again," said Yukimura as he smiled painfully to the other man.

"No, I'm not leaving you again, Seiichi! We'll go together this time!" shouted Sanada, but Yukimura just slowly shook his head in return.

"I can't go. I'm not allowed to leave this place," replied Yukimura. Before Sanada could say anything anymore, Yukimura spoke again, "You don't even remember anything I've done to you."

With that, he watched as Sanada disappeared, going to be reborn in yet another time and another place. Deep down he hoped that Sanada wouldn't reappear in front of him again, giving him false hope and driving him completely depressed to the point he let him died although he could stop it every single time. And more than once he actually set up everything to end Sanada's life, just because he hoped that the man would remember everything once his life ended. But it was proven for countless time to be ineffective, and the next time Sanada was reborn, he didn't remember even a slightest thing from his past life.

So when he found the familiar-looking boy after a few decades, he couldn't help but smiled sadly as he listened to the sound of the wheel of fate turning once again, repeating the endless circle he dreaded the most.


End file.
